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"What is with the funny hat?"
"Sorry?"
"The funny hat, you know the mad hatter wearing a funny hat."
"I do not know who you are referring to?"
"Why does Tahirul Qadri wear a hat in the summer?"
"To keep the sun out?"
"Well, define sun?"
"You sound like former President Clinton who wanted the word is defined during the Monica Lewinsky days."
"Well, did you refer to the sun literally as in the great big ball of fire in the sky or are you referring to a bald head as the sun?'
"Never heard of baldness being referred to as the sun, now the moon perhaps..."
"Don't be facetious - anyway as you know we are a nation of out of the box thinkers where our hair is concerned. We have those who undergo surgery to transplant hair one by one, we have those who wear wigs, we have those who colour their hair and sometimes in different shades and colours - hair is important for Pakistanis man!"
"Oh, so you reckon Qadri wears that funny hat because he is hiding a bald patch?"
"Well, it is within the realm of possibility. I mean those massive full-length ghararas..."
"Ghararas are worn by women so stop being disrespectful. I mean the guy maybe easily misled, want to hog the limelight or indeed be a political charlatan but there is no call to be disrespectful. I mean are you gunning for the job of the mild mannered Pervez Rashid who has tried to transform himself into a vicious wolf since he got the ministry."
"Sorry, anyway someone who doesn't colour his beard surely would not have the vanity to cover a God given bald patch!"
"Baldness is inherited my friend, could you quit invoking the Almighty in everything."
"It's the holy month of Ramazan and..."
"Anyway, I would like to turn your attention to the Americans spying on the BJP, which I can understand as it's known as a right wing Hindu fundamentalist party responsible for the massacre of Muslims, but I can't understand spying on the PPP - a party which I had I thought was regarded as a secular party with all the right credentials by the Americans."
"Yeah, but you know maybe the Americans spied cause they could - I mean I remember the party was like a sieve, there were no secrets, if more than one PPP member was present the topic of conversation was leaked."
"Ah yes, all for the sake of transparency."
"Stop being facetious."

Copyright Business Recorder, 2014

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